The Autoblow AI brings some smarts to your parts

I’ve become, for some reason, a smart sex toy reviewer. This means that at any one time there are a number of devices in my already crowded house that can give humans pleasure using motors and pulleys. It also means you’re going to have to put up with an Autoblow AI review. NSFW, etc. but I’ll try to keep it PG-13.

What is the Autoblow? It’s the brainchild of inventor Brian Sloan and it’s the culmination of multiple years of research. The original AutoBlow was a jar that you put your jumble in and turned on. An internal system would cause a set of beads to stroke up and down, eventually leading to pleasure. This new model has a number of interesting new features.

The $219 device features a removable sleeve and large, DC-powered motor. The motor turns and slides a separate ring up and down, moving the sleeve in time. You stick the sleeve into the motor and turn it on. You then select your stroke type. There are quite a few types and most offer a standard rhythmic sensation. But, now you can get a little more weird by selecting “AI” mode.

The AI mode is where this thing really shines. It pulls, pushes, tugs, and rubs like, we’d presume, a real human. While nothing about this device reminds you of a real human, the experience is quite interesting. It seems to take its time, doing odd things at odd times, in order to mimic a real human interaction. The results, I would say, are quite pleasant.

These things aren’t for everyone. The AutoBlow AI requires lubricant and it sounds like a 3D printer but if you’re hard up or just bored it’s definitely a bit of pleasure for not a big price. I’ve tried this thing a few times and each session was quite nice. The AI feature is probably the best part of this weird robotic jar and well worth the price of admission.

Maybe you don’t need an AutoBlow AI. Maybe you have other intelligent beings in your life that can simulate its skills. But if, one day, you find yourself alone and wondering just how far AI has come it might be worth trying plugging in and tuning out. I, for one, welcome our robotic sexbot overlords.